Space for Nuance

The title I first considered was “Christians Can Be Terrible At Nuance”.

*Insert laugh-cry emoji* because I am an older millennial, and the youths (Gen Z) apparently think that emoji is outdated and uncool. The youths can keep having their fun and I will keep using the laugh-cry emoji, interchangeably used with “LOL” or “haha”. Typically used to diffuse something uncomfortable or awkward. Why do we do the things we do? Human behavior is fascinating.

Okay, moving on now.

Let’s first define nuance. From Merriam-Webster:

• A subtle distinction or variation

• A subtle quality

• Sensibility to, awareness of, or ability to express delicate shadings (as of meaning, feeling, or value

While recently listening to Adam Grant’s podcast, he mentioned something observant, insightful, and very relatable. He briefly talked about where ancient wisdom often leaves him short. “For me, at least, a lot of the principles and recommendations that come out of religious traditions are missing the nuance about how do you actually do this in life. Right? So yeah, of course, you want to be a generous person, but how do you give to others in a way that prevents you or protects you from burning out or just getting burned by the most selfish takers around? Yes, I want to be humble, but I don't want to become meek or lack confidence.” Link to podcast starting at 44:52 mark.

I could relate! Especially to the statement I underlined.

Here are a few statements of “ancient wisdom” that I grew up on and consistently heard throughout my life:

• Faith over fear

• I can do all things through Christ

• Love God, love others

We preach this from the pulpit but are we teaching, supporting, holding accountable, and caring for those close to us (discipleship) about what that actually looks like in real life? Like what does “faith over fear” look like when I show up for work in the secular space on a Monday? What does “I can do all things through Christ” look like when I need to make a life-changing decision? What does “love God, love others” look like in how I respond to people who have hurt me and offended me?

We Christians talk a big game sometimes, and then fall flat on our faces when the reality of life emerges and tests what we say we believe.

It appears to me as a humongous gap that remains largely unaddressed in the modern church. We are left with Bible-illiterate “Christians” who are applying Biblical principles based on a thousand different interpretations (or the interpretation of the leader of the religious organization), instead of the intention that Jesus taught those Biblical principles and modeled them. We use nuance in interpreting the Bible, but neglect nuance in understanding the human condition.

The way that many Christians are applying Biblical principles today is unsustainable and misaligned with the integrity of Scripture and the glory of God.

Biblical Scripture is nuanced. And we lack the patience and respect for it to study it, appreciate it, and actually apply it in our day-to-day life.

This is what the crises of 2020 and my own personal crisis so blatantly revealed to me.

As some examples, these are topics that I’ve seen too many Christians be terrible at, including myself, because the need to make space for nuance was ignored or not even in the realm of our awareness.

Abortion

Diversity and Inclusion

Divorce

Immigration

Mental Health

Politics

Racial Justice

Sexuality

On abortions: I was once part of a religious organization trying to launch a “pro-life” group that would minister to women going through an unexpected pregnancy. During the first meeting and discussion of the group’s purpose, one of the pastor’s wives passionately exclaimed, “we’re just trying to stop abortions!”. I felt exhausted already. Then someone else asked what if a woman came to us for help and what if at the end her decision was to have an abortion. What would we do as a group? What would our personal convictions be? Keep supporting the person or walk away? It was fascinating how we all landed in different places. Or that some people hadn’t even thought of the possibility that someone who is processing an unexpected pregnancy may have different beliefs and circumstances that would lead her to a decision. It made me wonder do these people actually care about people? Do they only care that people don’t have abortions? Did the group need more perspective and understanding?

On racial justice: Also in the same religious organization, it was fascinating how the senior pastor would preach at least once a quarter that in his younger days God gave him a "vision" of what heaven looked like (people with different skin colors from different socio-economic backgrounds). I remember thinking how odd it seemed that the “vision” was brought up often enough and in the same detail. And more odd that when you look deeper beneath the surface, minorities including Black people were not given a voice or included in the decision-making in that organization. Are we satisfied with ourselves writing a $10,000 dollar check and posting about it on social media, while disregarding the very hurt of the repercussions of racial injustice in our very own community? Are we satisfied with having our token Black person or minority person on staff? Are people who represent varied backgrounds and life experiences actually given a seat at the table? Where their voice is heard, valued, and used to inform decisions?

God didn’t just write a check or outsource who would pay for the sins of mankind. He sent His Son Jesus to experience what humankind experiences, and pay for the sins we could never ever afford to pay. If we believe that, isn't it worth following that example in the way we get involved with and address our own suffering and the suffering of others?

Do we care about people? Do we want to honor God with the intentions of our heart and our actions? Or do we just care about throwing money at things, making things look and sound good, saying the “tweetable” thing, while we keep living in homogenous communities unaware of what those outside are going through?

This is what the crises of 2020 and my own personal crisis so blatantly revealed to me.

Enough is enough and I choose to opt out. Opt out of religious communities that pastors and people have built into personal empires. I want to opt in with communities who are aware, intentional, and who value integrity where actions align with words. And when there is a disconnect between words and actions, which there will be because we are humans who will keep making mistakes, to have humility to repent and make amends.

Christians can be terrible at nuance. But perhaps there is hope. I believe that we are created by a God who is creative, full of knowledge and wisdom, purposeful, sovereign. This makes me think and believe that there is capacity within me —within us — to make space for nuance because it was and is part of creation.

Christians can be terrible at nuance. I want to make space for nuance. I want to be in communities with those who believe and don’t believe in Christ, who are open to nuance. Identify it. Understand it. Appreciate it. Validate it. Value it.

Christians can be terrible at nuance. I want to be part of communities who create space for the depth and breadth of nuance. Don’t you?

*The photo in this post is one of the puzzles I worked on while sheltering in place in early days of the pandemic. One of the things that came to mind while putting the puzzle together was "nuance" such that I needed to pay close attention to the subtleties of shade and color and in which part of the puzzle a piece needed to be placed. There is great beauty and care in the placement of pieces in a puzzle --- for those of us who believe in the Bible, isn't that how God created the world and people?